Diversity of the Christian Sphere

This week has brought about an odd conglomeration of faith perspectives for me.  My week started with watching Lord of War for the third time and suddenly being reminded of how sick the subject matter makes me. The story is about gun trafficking but I don't want to get too much into its plot, you just need to watch it.  The question comes up, how do I reconcile these practices - and the complicity of my government in them - with my faith? On Monday I brought this up at a discussion/Bible study that we have with a Methodist campus ministry and we discussed violence, and the public role of the church.

Most people in the group are from the Miami area, a few of us are from other places.  These perspectives bring to light the differences geography has in our faith. Religion and church in Miami is not religion and church in the Bible belt is not religion and church in the Pacific Northwest. Religion and church in the western hemisphere is so far from religion and church in the eastern hemisphere.

Last semester I visited a couple seminaries, both were technically located in the Bible belt, but one seemed far more a stereotype of the Bible belt than the other.  While the Bible belt is believed to have the most churches per capita the Pacific Northwest is considered to be the most "un-churched" region of the country.  I seem to be much more at home in a town in which church attendance, much less belief in God are not assumed. http://www.usatoday.com/life/2002/2002-03-07-church-free.htm .  Naturally I found the seminary with the less "Bible-belty" feel to be a better fit.  The thing is while Jesus is my savior, and I uphold the authority of the Bible, there's something about the associated language that makes me cringe.  Again, perhaps it's a Bono quote that sums it up "Even though I'm a believer, I still find it really hard to be around other believers. They make me nervous, they make me twitch."

With this same ministry in which we have this discussion/Bible study we've been putting on what we call "The Love Campaign" (http://www.fiulovecampaign.com/ <--- Check it out. essentially God is love and we are endeavoring to show that love) coincidentally one of those crazy traveling preachers that likes to yell at everyone and tell them they're going to hell decided to show up on campus Wednesday and Thursday.  Generally I get the impression from the crowd he attracts that the non-religious amongst the crowd are fully aware that this man in no way represents the Christian faith.  On Wednesday however the situation seems to have been different.  What I have been told from a number of sources is that this time around there was a lot more hate in the air, not just for the man shouting but for the God he claimed.  While I don't take issue with this so much because if these people claim to hate crazy preacher man's God who doesn't sound much like the God I was raised to believe in, or read about in my bible then fine.  Truth be told these people probably weren't even yelling about his God either they were yelling about an oppressive god that was forced upon them.

In response to our professors comments about the preacher one of my fellow students in my senior seminar asked our professor what she believed assuming that she was an atheist.  The reality is that there is little she *doesn't* believe in.  Apparently the concept that Jesus is "the Way, The Truth and the Life" as he claimed and Hellenistic revival are silly, everything else is fair game.  She believes in a supreme deity following the spirituality of Judaism and Islam, but also in minor deities such as, and I quote, "Hindu gods and Catholic saints" yes, the saints that are not even meant to operate as deities in their own religion.  Not to mention that the concept of other gods is incompatible with Judaism and Islam.  I fully respect people who come to educated decisions regarding faith or the lack there of, but I guess I just fail to see how this is an educated decision.  By that token, fair is fair. She seems to find my faith silly, I find hers silly.  Perhaps what I found silliest about her faith is this insistence on rejecting a particular aspect of reality.  I suppose I cannot fault her, many a Christian that buys into the prosperity gospel accepts a religion that rejects this same piece of reality.  It is a truth we learn of in The Princess Bride... yes, the Princess Bride (Oh, the bible too - but I'm watching the Princess Bride right now).

Buttercup: "You mock my pain!!"
The Dread Pirate Roberts/Wesley: "Life is pain Highness! Anyone who says differently is trying to sell you something."

Unless we're talking about someone preaching the prosperity gospel ('you've been trying the square peg of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll but the only thing that's going to fill that hole is the round peg of Jesus' sort of junk) Christianity is not about suddenly having perfect happiness and "the good life".  If it were, can you imagine how Peter, Paul and Stephen would try to sell that? There were all Martyred, John was boiled in oil and Paul was routinely beaten and jail hopping prior to his conversion was when he had the good life which also happened to be when he helped out with Stephen's stoning.  Peter was crucified upside-down.  Now there's an ad for "the good life".  No, the gospel is about suffering, suffering with joy to be sure, but suffering.  Ideally Christianity should be seeking to bring about heaven through their suffering ("Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.") it's never going to be perfect on earth, but we are to take the vision of a better world and run with it fully realizing that it's going to hurt in the process.  My professor is in fact completely aware of this, and she doesn't like it.  Since she doesn't like it it couldn't possibly be realistic.  The faith she has adopted is much more happy and pleasant.  The more power to her, I don't think I could suspend reality like that. When she described this I genuinely wanted to stand up and shout "LIFE IS PAIN HIGHNESS!" but I kept it to myself.

In Washington sometimes my mere acceptance of a deity paints me to be "too conservative", in the bible belt I could come off looking like a hippie and then in Miami I would say that I live in a very little inhabited limbo - my theology can be too liberal and too conservative for many.  Yet I feel the equal tension of not wanting to be "lukewarm".  The weird part of Miami, for me, is that religious background is assumed.  I don't know many atheists or agnostics in Miami, but the ones that I do know were at one point raised in the church and potentially forced to go, their rejection of the church is more out of pain it caused.

My roommate asked me the other day if apologetics were more important in the Northwest because they tend to take the more intellectual approach.  My personal opinion is that apologetics aren't that important... ever.  Which perhaps isn't all that true, they're good for you.  Apologetics can help you understand what you believe and why you believe it, however they're never going to defend the faith to someone else because once you bring it into argument you've lost.

I'm open to being wrong on this, but I feel like what I learned from growing up in the environment of the Pacific Northwest is that I don't need to try to defend the faith, it can take care of itself. Whether someone believes or not is on them there seems little value in trying to intellectualize faith. Jesus doesn't need us to argue with people, he needs us to serve them.

Beta Video for the love campaign

If you check out http://www.fiulovecampaign.com you can see the event I'm working on this for.  It's not done yet, but I wanted to show it to people off of facebook so I had to make a post so I'd have a place to embed it.

Marathon Training Day 2: Ice baths and Inhalers Are Magic

So when I turned 23 on my birthday last week, it seems that my right hip turned 75.  Those of you in South Florida may notice a funny limp, and that I'm taking the stairs *VERY* slowly.  Although my hip is starting to feel better, now it's the left knee... go figure, that's the life.  After my run this morning I was praising God that according to my training schedule tomorrow is a day off, otherwise I might not be physically able to continue with this course of action, but as it seems by now (nearly 7pm) I think maybe I *could* run tomorrow if that was on the training plan, but I'm still ever so glad that it's not.  I'm still getting up early, but I have a couple papers to write so that's what I'll do instead.

I went in to talk to a doctor about my asthma issues yesterday and explained that I was taking up running again but wanted to make sure I could breath, and that it'd been a while since I'd trained regularly and told her about how hard it had been to breath etc.  She lectured me about how I'm not 14 anymore (I've certainly figured that much out...) so it was going to take some work, but she was amazed that I made it 3 miles.  I tried to explain that I didn't actually run the full three because I couldn't really breath and that I walked a good portion more than I would have liked.  Apparently it didn't matter.  So I guess when I say that I'm out of shape, what I mean to say is that I'm not in the shape that I want to be in.  I want to be in the kind of shape that means that getting up at 5am and running 3 miles is not going to earn me the nickname 'gimpy'.  But ultimately getting in shape is not enough of a motivator, I have to be working toward something, and so I'm working toward running a marathon, once I get one under my belt the next step is to work on qualifying and running the Boston Marathon.  Naturally I don't expect to qualify in my first marathon, the goal there will be to just finish, I'll worry about qualifying times later.

The Inhaler I was given by my doctor pretty much fixed the asthma issues, a couple puffs on that and I hit the road with a set of new lungs.  I'm figuring out however that it may not just be that I'm out of shape, but that my legs are used to running on softer material, trails, grass, etc.  Things not available where I live in Miami (between Downtown and the Grove).  So the past two days I've been taking ice baths as well.  These are much less magical than inhalers but they seem to work nonetheless.  For someone who gets as cold as I do, there is little more hellish than struggling through a 3 mile run/walk that was surprisingly chilly with an added wind chill factor only to get home and force myself into a bathtub filled with cold water and two bags of "Party Ice".  I remember going into the trainer at Wa-Hi back in the day and standing in the "Whirlpool" A big metal tub filled with ice water and a little thing on the side to keep the cold water circulating.  What do we learn from these practices? Runners are insane.  Nonetheless, my legs feel better than they did.

Now my roommate claims that she's no where near my shape, and perhaps considering that I've been raised in competitive swimming and was an accomplished distance runner in middle and high school then there are a lot of people not in the shape that I'm in, but I don't think she's doing too bad... check out her blog: http://epicyclesandellipses.blogspot.com/2010/01/on-running-er-walking-kind-of-quickly.html

Marathon Training Day 1: I forgot how much this hurts

I hopped out of bed with the enthusiasm of a five year old at Christmas when my alarm went off at 5am this morning, hit the bathroom, drank a glass of water and was on the road.  I ran swiftly through my planned route out toward the Rickenbacker Causeway along the trail underneath the metro-rail before finally turning and heading toward the Causeway itself.  The incline of the bridge is steeper than anything else one could possibly run in Miami but I took to it with ease...

And if you believe that, I might just sell you that bridge.
The one thing that can be learned from hitting the road again is that quite simply I am not in shape.  Not that the guy who drove by and yelled "You're already thin!!!" out his window would begin to comprehend that.  I've never needed to exercise to lose wait, I've always somewhat resembled a twig, however there was one point in my life that running 3 miles was easy and walking was never an option.  Today was not that day.  I did make it 3 miles, but for a good portion you could hardly call what I was doing "running".

Still, it was a glorious run.  If I can manage to drag myself out of bed I love being up that early.  By no means was I enthusiastic, but I was up at 5am and out of the house in short order.  One of the other things I had forgotten was just how hungry I get when I actually do this kind of thing, I had a pretty decent breakfast and I'm still hungry but I'm also on campus already, pretty much broke, and lacking a snack food stash.  I'm going to need to work on that.  The weather was kinda funky this morning, really windy, it rained on me a bit too.  Plus considering how early I got up the sun was still down by the time I made it back home.  At one spot on the run I stopped to stretch on the beach... yeah, I can run to the beach from my place... crazy I know.  There's plenty good to be said for beautiful sunny days on the beach, but I'm weird, I really like gloomy, melancholic weather, not sure why.  You could hear rumblings, and aside from the city lights the sky was completely dark and overcast.  The wind was obnoxious, but it wasn't against me or at my back, it just blew me sideways for a while and seemed loud and angry.  For me at least, it was a gorgeous morning.

The next step is stocking my fridge so I have a more filling breakfast, and snacks to keep me going through lunch and dinner as well.

Joy of joys, time for class, more later.

The Dangers of Facebook Preaching

I know this guy on facebook from going to a couple events with a particular Christian ministry at FIU over a year ago now.  I honestly don't think I've seen him since we met in Fall of '08, which apparently happens to be about the time he became a Christian.  There is a chance that he follows the link from my facebook and reads this, and if so - Hey! How's it goin'?

Frequently his status posts on facebook are concerning.  He writes with the zeal of a new convert, which more or less I suppose he is.  There's nothing wrong with his enthusiasm my concern has always been that he seems to get so wrapped up in the letter of the law that the spirit of it, God's love for His people, seems to sometimes get pushed by the wayside.  There's a quote from Bono that often pops into my head when I read these kinds of posts that goes something like this "Zealots often have no love for the world. They're just trying to get through it to the next."  Once when quoting this to someone else I was told that we are supposed to be "in the world not of it" and similar lines that seemed to forget how John 3:16 starts "For God so loved the world..."

Sometimes when I can't take it anymore I'll comment on these statuses.  A few days ago I commented on a status that wasn't offensive at all I simply wanted people to have clarity.  I get annoyed when people talk about being "Jesus-like" or trying to do something "biblically" because it sounds like the Christian thing to say but the reality is that they don't know what either of those things mean.  My roommate and I like to quote the line from the Princess Bride "You keep using that word... I do not think it means what you think it means."

I think I also get frustrated with the concept of Evangelizing only to "save souls" and move on because there must be more to our faith than simply believing the right things and following a list of "don'ts" God must be bigger than that.  So, here's my most recent discussion on this person's facebook page.  He never actually responded to me, a couple of his friends did though.  Truth be told, knowing him like this is good for me, it helps me to begin to articulate exactly what it is that I believe.  The people other than myself will only be identified with initials:

DJ:

Are you doing your job as a Christian? Jesus said, "You are the salt of the earth. Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." (Matthew 5:13-16) Jesus also teaches us that we are to go & "bear fruit" (John 15:16) and to become "fishers of men" (Mark 1:17). The whole point of being a Christians is to make disciples of Jesus! GO EVANGELIZE! Souls are at stake!

Thu at 4:57pm · 

JS and 2 others like this

DJ:

Matthew 9:35-38

The Workers Are Few
Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."

Where are the workers?

Thu at 6:06pm

Maggie

What are the workers supposed to do? Are the supposed to preach? And if they're supposed to preach, how? With words or with actions? St. Francis once said "Preach the gospels always, if necessary use words." So if we preach with our actions what do we do. Living by a moral code is important, but if it's all we do then we'll simply appear self-righteous.

I think maybe the answer is in Matthew 25:31-45

Thu at 7:16pm ·

AM:

Some of the workers are still in the churches because they are controlled by leadership instead of God and/or they just don't have the faith to do what God has led them to do...We all need to seek God for his perfect will for our lives...I truely believe that God is raising up a generation that will serve him and cast down imaginations and stop traditions of men in Jesus name...

Yesterday at 12:41am

AM

To Maggie: The workers are suppose to spread the good news of Christ and live by the greatest example which is Jesus Christ..if God leads them to preach then they should be obedient or by any other means to bring people closer to Christ...I believe that actions speak louder than words, so if you have the word and is also a publisher of it than you are in his will...In the old testament, when it was prophesize that Jesus was going to be crucified and rose on the third day..Jesus kept his word by his actions in the new testament...

Yesterday at 12:48am

Maggie

You're missing my point. I agree with everything you said, but you're speaking in vague terms. OBVIOUSLY we need to abide by the greatest example which is Jesus Christ. What I am trying to ask us all to think about is what that means. What EXACTLY was it that he did? What EXACTLY should we be doing and how EXACTLY should we be behaving? "Like Jesus" isn't good enough, because if we don't define what that means, then it's easier to pretend like we don't have to go and befriend prostitutes, love tax-collectors (or other high and mighty financial crooks on the level of Berny Madoff). If we don't define what being Jesus-like is, or what living biblically means, then we'll never actually do it, we'll just keep talking about it.

Yesterday at 2:06am ·

JS

wow...gr8 point, Maggie! :)

Yesterday at 8:38am

AM

Ok..Jesus was obedient to God, which involved saving the Lost and restoring those that are believers from sin.. When Jesus was ressurected he left his holy remnant for us. which is the Holy Ghost so that we can continue to live for him...When Jesus was on the earth, he faced persecution, oppposition, etc..but he endured because he knew who he was..Today, many people don't know who they are, but when we truly accept Jesus, we can show love no matter what comes our way and live according to his word...

Yesterday at 9:20am

Maggie

Hmmm... You're still speaking "Christianese" until you can explain it in plain simple English it will not only be hard to live out, but it will be hard for a non-believer to understand.

I think what really concerns me is that you're focusing on a very small portion of the faith. Once you "save a soul" what then? They believe the right stuff and they follow a list of don'ts. Lots of Christians believe the right things, lots of Christians preach the right things but in Matthew 7:21-27 Jesus says:
‘Not everyone who says to me, “Lord, Lord”, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only one who does the will of my Father in heaven. On that day many will say to me, “Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many deeds of power in your name?” Then I will declare to them, “I never knew you; go away from me, you evildoers.”

"God's will" then in this verse is bigger than believing the right things as James tells us in James 2:19:
You believe that God is one; you do well. Even the demons believe—and shudder.

As far as following the commandments we know that there are only two that Jesus is truly concerned with. Not because the others aren't important but because he was summarizing them. The first 4 commandments are about loving and honoring God, the last 6 are about loving your neighbor. So when Jesus is asked what the greatest commandment is, he tells us this in Matthew 22:37-40:
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: “You shall love your neighbour as yourself.” On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.’

Through Jesus we know that loving God and loving our neighbor is more than having a feeling of affection for someone, you need to serve them, you need to spend time with them. In Matthew 25:36-45 which I referenced above Jesus says:
(ok, this is long one, too long for a comment box, so here:http://bible.oremus.org/?ql=131172627 )

The judgement depends on whether you lived out your faith and fed the hungry, clothed the naked, welcomed the stranger, cared for the sick, visited the imprisoned.

And yes, we are saved by grace through faith so that none of us can boast. This is true. We are saved so that when we go out to love people and share God's word through our actions we will not be sharing his word with a selfish motive to achieve our own salvation but out of genuine love for God and neighbor.
(I am passionate about this particular subject... I could go on)

I know some good connections where you can start going out and sharing the love of God if you need a place to start. :)

Yesterday at 10:09am ·

JS:

Preach, Maggie! =)

Yesterday at 11:01am

AM:

Ok..you were more in depth, I just mention the foundation, which should be the base of our faith...and when we seek first the Kingdom of God and all his righteousness..all these things will be ADDED unto you...God Bless You Maggie!!!:)

Yesterday at 12:45pm

This particular conversation turned out better than they usually do.  Once "DJ" posted something about abortion, which I am against, however because I suggested that it might be important to offer care for the scared mothers who found themselves in such a situation I was scolded be another person who felt that these women were simply suffering the consequences of their sin by having sex outside of marriage and it was not his responsibility.  I argued that as her brother in Christ it absolutely was because we are taught to forgive so that we may be forgiven. Sometimes I want to avoid dignifying just discussions with a response, but somethings can be hard to ignore.

I hit a cat... Happy Birthday...

So, nine years ago I had the worst birthday ever.  To be honest my birthday itself wasn't so bad, January 20th and even the 21st was alright. That week leading up to it, not so much.  The septic tank had backed up, dad had been laid off, my dog was hit by a car and killed, and a teacher had sent home a grade report (her maternity substitute having forgotten to record an entire chapter of homework and test scores) stating that I had received an 'F' in her class for the semester.  The year I turned fourteen was memorable at least.  I remember when friends showed up for the slumber party and I was simply hoping they didn't ask where my dog was.  Holmes, my dog, was only a puppy when he'd been hit and killed five days earlier and yes the rest of the week had been terrible but if somebody had asked me about the dog I think I might have curled into the fetal position.

When companies lay off their workers I wish they'd be creative and not do it in the winter because if they don't ruin Christmas for a family, well, they'll ruin my birthday.  It's not about the money, I don't need gifts.  I just get a little tired of bad news on my birthday.

As of last week my dad's job no longer exists. Two of my roommates (two of the best roommates I've ever had) have had to move out due to financial issues, and today perhaps 30 minutes ago, on my way home I killed someone else's family pet.  Driving down U.S. 1 I hit somebody's cat.  It was pretty, a healthy black and grey striped tabby and there was nothing I could do about it. I saw it jump out from the median and no amount of swerving or hitting the brakes would have saved it from its fate and knowing that my car weighs at least three tons and feeling the bump as my rear tires passed that spot, I know that cat didn't survive.  I was driving on U.S. 1 and even at 1am you can't just stop and check to see what that bump was and if it was ok, you have to keep going, lest someone hits *you*.

All of that said, it's not a bad day.  I can't do a thing about my dad's job or roommates' financial issues.  I couldn't have saved that cat.  For all I knew the critter was suicidal. We do know that Holmes just liked chasing lights, whether it was from a flashlight or a car's headlights.  The timing of that particular chase was unfortunate, but it happened.  The truth is, I happened to be born in January.  The start of the year happens to be a good time for lay offs, a time for companies to make a clean cut.  Financial issues come to a head at this point, issues with school and financial aid happen by the semester and January starts a new one.  When I was in middle and high school my birthday ALWAYS fell during finals week in my school district and that's when grade reports were sent out, January the year I turned 14 also happened to be the month that teacher found appropriate to return from maternity leave to start the new year fresh and, sure, her substitute had screwed up but everyone makes mistakes and it was cleared up, it made explaining to my parents rough but considering how terrible the rest of the week had been for me they were lenient.

The reality is, that if I was born in March, these things still would have happened in January.  My birthday wouldn't come into play.  In fact if my birthday came in March but everyone was still financially strapped because of what happened in January I would receive less sympathy than I do now because by March everyone would just expect me to be understanding of the situation.

It seems almost providential (considering my reluctance regarding Calvinism maybe I should find a different word...) that tonight at the God party we talked about finding meaning in our work, as I was also finishing "A Million Miles In A Thousand Years" which is about telling a meaningful story with our lives, one people will care about when our end credits role.

When I die, and God and I talk about the life I led, what would it profit me to complain about being born in January?  If anything it adds a bit of spice to the story, and makes people amazed at how I didn't end up a Jehovah's Witness so I could avoid even trying to celebrate the day.

I have bigger stories to tackle.  For instance, over 2 years ago I said I was going to train to run a marathon.  Today I looked up marathon training plans for beginners (even though my pride told me I'm an intermediate runner, reality tells me I'm out of shape).  The longest training plan I could find (as in, the one that would allow for the longest possible training time) was 18 weeks.  I then went to marathonguide.com after counting out 18 weeks from this coming Monday (Monday is when the training guide starts) and found a marathon that will be held on that date.  So, Sunday May 30th 2010 at 7:30am I will run my first Marathon at Wickham Park in Melbourne, Fl.  How weird is it that the first Marathon available on that date happens to be only 3 hours drive from where I am right now?  I could probably go and just camp out the night before.  Though this won't only be the first marathon I'll ever run, it'll probably also be the most dangerous and just all around strangest.  For running it I won't pay an entrance fee and my only symbol of finishing will be the sense of pride I'll feel. Perhaps accompanied by the sense of shame that I didn't do the 50, 100 or 200 mile races because the marathon is actually the shortest race they offer.  No t-shirts are given http://www.mattmahoney.net/wickham/ but it'll be a good story to tell, and that's why it's worth doing.

What I learned as of late is this, I want to live a good story.  I want to live a story that even *I* would be willing to read, and lets be honest - I get bored easily.  I'm also really bad at starting things, and then following though with things.  Characters in stories need an inciting incident to *FORCE* them to change.  They don't just change on their own, something has to make them change.  Consider this my inciting incident.  Monday January 25th I begin training to run the Wickham Park marathon.  I've told you all I'm going to do this, now you have to hold me to it.  I'm going to blog about it, and if I'm not in shape on May 30th to run this race then my story will simply not be as happy as I want and y'all should be very disappointed.  Preparing for wickham park will be different than most marathons as well.  There are a couple water fountains on the trail, otherwise I will need to make sure to bring whatever else I need for the 26.2 miles.

Ok, I might run a different Marathon that weekend if I can manage to travel for one. The Coeur d Alene marathon is the same weekend.  Better climate, better scenery, and I might just be able to couch surf that one!

My first marathon is just a sample story though.  I'm working on the bigger picture.  More to come.

Courage to Start, and the Courage to Continue & Perhaps the Knowledge to Do Both

"Leave.
... It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed." - 'Through Painted Deserts: Light, God and Beauty on the Open Road' by Donald Miller

This blog comes after about a week of having too many muses to write about.  I have a number of half started posts tucked safely in a Microsoft OneNote tab, and none of which I could seem to finish.  Sure that's a symptom of ADD. A condition I have been told that I have by plenty of people qualified to know.  But ADD is not to blame for lack of follow through here.  They were all good starts that pointed to something else.

If everything goes as planned, and I'm awarded the appropriate transfer credit after hounding down old professors in Cheney for syllabi, as well as receiving a passing score on a CLEP test I will have completed all the coursework that I will need to do on campus in this semester, I will be able to walk at graduation in April and I'll complete the final nine credits online over the summer.  If all this is true, I have four months left in Miami according to the little counter I put on my Facebook profile I have about 107.5 days left. So I'm applying for seminary. It's the next step and it's my calling. God has made that clear, but I'm anxious.  I've been anxious for about a year and a half now.  I know I talk about how much I don't like Miami... I've even said I hate it on numerous occasions.  That wasn't always the case.  When those four months are up and I'm finally finished here, I won't be leaving Miami I haven't really been there for a while.  I left for Iowa a year and a half ago.  After that I went to Colorado and down to New Mexico and when the plane landed in Miami and the shuttle pulled up to the drive of the house I'd been living in for the past year I wasn't there.

My heart checked out of Miami some time ago.  Going back to the heat and humidity of Florida after hopping around the country, seeing farmland and playing with cousins, roadtripping from Denver, Co to Ghost Ranch in Abiquiu, NM and hiking, climbing, and camping along the way?  No, I never really came back.  So where I've been for the past year and a half is moving on.  I've just been waiting for my academics to catch up with me, and it looks like they finally just might do that.  It's not a bad thing that I checked out that long ago.  What I learned in my year working at Sweet Home was that I needed to commit to a place, and that I needed to finish school, picking up and leaving Miami wouldn't help in the long run and for all my complaining it's not such a terrible place especially with the right roommates.  I didn't want to be in Miami but I knew it was the right place for me for that time.  I wouldn't trade the people I've met here, good or bad, for anything.  I've been shaped by experiences that were never supposed to be a part of my mission year.  So I committed to stay for two more years, but I knew that just as I was called to stay I would also be called to leave.  So, 107 days and the counter keeps going down.  Not all those who wander are lost, I'll be moving on to the next thing still moving, but still not lost.


If I'm not really leaving, because I'm already gone... why the Donald Miller quote?  Why talk about leaving? Because:

• This week I picked up 'Through Painted Deserts' again and I intend to finish it this time.
•  I also saw the movie 'Romero' for the first time since I had to watch it for class last Spring.   I watch Romero and see a devout man of God advocate for his people and as a result he is mistaken as a figure head for a Marxist guerrilla movement and assassinated. He wasn't too different from the savior he professed.  A friend of mine on Facebook has put something like this under her political views: If Jesus ran for president he would be executed... oh, wait....  
• Then Product Red (one of the groups Bono is affiliated with) announced that Nike is joining the cause, which sounds great until considering the irony of Red's mission compared with Nike's business practices... same goes with Gap for that matter.  Companies discovered to use (or who have come out and admitted, but not repented, use of) child labor in sweat shops are welcomed into a cause that intends to try to eliminate poverty, the same poverty these companies perpetuate.  Isn't that what we're talking about when we say "Robbing Peter to pay Paul?".  
• Next the Nobel Peace prize acceptance speech was surprisingly militaristic this year.  A world leader who is accepting an award reserved for those in our culture who do the absolute most for peace, some taking vows of poverty, some are awarded it posthumously for the way in which they lost their life, and in this leader's acceptance speech for such an award he advocates war.  I realize the situation he was put in, but it would have been better and done more honor to the award had he chosen not to accept it.  
• Finally, there's a homeless man Sara and I see frequently when we head east on Coral Way back toward home, he has a dog that looks like a purebred boxer.  It's a beautiful dog in much better shape than it's owner.  For the second time since I've been back in Miami after the break Sara and I took him a warm meal and some hot tea, last time we brought him a can of dog food too.  Tonight Miami is pretty cold, cold for Miami at least.  With the wind chill it's about 40 degrees out, and we imagine that having a dog probably makes it hard for him to get into a shelter.A man without anything else in the world loves and cares for another creature so well that you could see any suburbanite family walking it on the street, and because of it he can't get a bed.

So many things seem so upside down.


So, Donald Miller tells me I should leave, in the most literal sense I will be and I'm preparing for that move.  That quote is much more like a call to action though.  I sincerely doubt I will ever be nominated for a Peace Prize, I certainly will never run a company (of moral practices or otherwise) that could produce anything for product Red.  I don't even think it would be wise to try to convince a shelter to allow pets, there are some very good reasons to not allow them.  All of this is symbolized in that road trip Donald Miller is talking about.  Leave, get off your butt, get out the door, do something.  The question is where to start, poverty in our own country and abroad? Human trafficking? The genocide in Darfur? Advocating for foreign aid to prevent war so we won't need it for damage control? (I don't accept the concept of just war, but I'm not a pacifist.  I believe that war sometimes becomes necessary to clean up messes we could have prevented and I do think that applies throughout history.) Mother Teresa once said that we can do no great things, just small things with great love.  What would that look like? How would that start? Do I have the courage to start that journey?  Even if I can get out the door, how do I keep going?


I'm incredibly independent but frequently I think the catalyst to get me to jump, to just get up and leave is a traveling companion someone else who is also willing to throw caution to the wind and come with me.  But I'm not alone, I've never been alone.  Sometimes it's just hard to live into that faith.


Just the thoughts rolling around, I wanted to leave you with a scripture and prayer that mean something to me.



(Psalm 73:21-28 NRSV)When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, I was stupid and ignorant; I was like a brute beast toward you. Nevertheless I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me with honor.Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire other than you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Indeed, those who are far from you will perish; you put an end to those who are false to you.  But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, to tell of all your works.






May God bless you with discomfort
At easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships
So that you may live deep within your heart


May God bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression and exploitation of people
So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace


May God bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and
To turn their pain into joy


May God bless you with foolishness
To believe that you can make a difference in the world
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor


(Franciscan Blessing)

Starting a Collection

This past spring my mom and I were in the Goodwill in Brandon, Fl and we saw a commemorative church plate, I *think* it was for a Lutheran church.  We talked about how cool it would be to start a set of dishes by collecting plates from various churches, not to mention that it's fairly inexpensive when you can just pick them up at the local thrift store.  We didn't buy that one, but I guess my mom kept to the idea and I got this plate for Christmas to start the collection.

This plate commemorates the First Baptist Church of Palmetto, Fl.  It's dated 1892-1967 meaning the plate itself is 42 years old.  It depicts the "Old church" built in 1892, and the "new sanctuary" that was completed in 1926 at a cost of $114,000.00.  An education building was completed in 1959 at a cost of $146,000.00 which they were able to pay down by 1965.   I found the church's website, it would appear that since the plate was printed a whole range more renovations were made to building because of their dramatically increasing membership. http://www.fbcpalmetto.com/history

I found this one particularly interesting because the frequent mentions on the back of the plate about the cost of renovations and such were mostly to emphasize the importance they put on paying off their debt and to be good stewards of the funds they had.  They weren't making these renovations for the sake of having a large extravagant building, they were making them because the church seemed to have a genuine need for them, and they were insistent to not build beyond their means.

Anyway, if your church has a plate or if you come across one while thrift shopping pick it up for me would you?

Merry Christmas!!!

Tonight my parents and I went to the Christmas Eve service at First Pres. Brandon, then we went to O'Tooles Irish pub in Brandon... like you do... after the Christmas Eve service.  You all go to Irish pubs after church right?  No, well you should.


While we were there we ran into a a guy who used to wait on my parents at another restaurant in the area that my parents used to go to fairly often.  They got to a point where they knew this guy, and his girlfriend (who also worked there) really well, but they hadn't been there in quite a while. He remembered them and so him, his girlfriend and ourselves sat down and just told stories for about two hours. This seemed particularly funny because this couple is my age and we had a great time sharing stories and laughing.  My parents make friends in interesting ways. I honestly can't think of a more unique, or more cool Christmas Eve than to sit down in a pub and have real genuine conversation, connecting with people that we honestly hardly know and finding common ground.  God works in amazing ways.


What I particularly want to share this Christmas is a quote that I absolutely love and happened to come across a little over three years ago, around the time my maternal grandmother died and about 6 months before I moved to Florida. (perhaps the timing isn't important to the story, but it means something to me).  It's a quote from Bono that really puts into perspective what God was doing the night Jesus was born, I quoted this in pieces on Facebook, but I'm putting it in its entirety here so read it all even if you think you've seen it before :-D Starting with Mitchka Assayas the interviewer :

When was the first time something happened when you thought about a line from the scriptures? When you first said to yourself: yes, I can see beyond that and see how it applies to such and such a situation?

Let me try to explain something to you, which I hope will make sense of the whole conversation.  But that's a little optimistic. [Laughs] This was not the first time, but I remember coming back from a very long tour. I hadn't been home. Got home for Christmas, very excited of being in Dublin. Dublin at Christmas is cold, but it's lit up, it's like a carnival in the cold.  On Christmas Eve I went to St. Patrick's Cathedral.  I had done school there for a year. It's where Jonathan Swift was dean. Anyway, some of my Church of Ireland friends were going. It's kind of a tradition on Christmas eve to go, but I'd never been.  I went to this place, sat. I was given a really bas seat, behind one of the huge pillars. I couldn't see anything. I was sitting there, having come back from Tokyo, or somewhere like that. I went for the singing, because I love choral singing. Community arts, a specialty! But I was falling asleep, being up for a few days traveling, because it was a bit boring, the service, and I just started nodding off, I couldn't see a thing. Then I started to try to keep myself awake studying what was on the page. It dawned on me for the first time, really. It had dawned on me before, but it really sank in: the Christmas story. The idea that God, if there is a force of Logic and Love in the universe, that it would seek to explain itself is amazing enough. That it would seek to explain itself and describe itself by becoming a child born in straw poverty, in shit and straw…a child… I just thought: “Wow!” Just the poetry … Unknowable love, unknowable power, describes itself as the most vulnerable. There it was. I was sitting there, and it’s not that it hadn’t struck me before, but tears came streaming down my face, and I saw the genius of this, utter genius of picking a particular point in time and deciding to turn on this.

 And of course this continues, but what Bono let happen here was that he took the time to think beyond what he had been taught of the story all his life, and really processed what it meant for God to come down.  This is even before he starts to talk about Jesus' ministry or the idea of Grace over Karma, and that God's grace upends the Karma that the world seems to run on.  That all comes later, because first you need to understand what it means that God simply came down to join us.  He didn't have to.  Many people have tried to explain that God can understand humanity because he came down to be a human.  No, he can understand humanity because he is who he is, he didn't need to come down to understand us, but he came anyway.  If you look up this book (there's a link up there to it on Amazon) on page 125 Bono concludes his answer to this question by proclaiming that it's purely logical, love must become flesh.  It is, as Bono says, poetry.  Our God came down, not to understand, but to show he understands.  To manifest that love that always existed.  As the song goes "Love came down at Christmas."


Isaiah 9:6 For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.


I can't hear or read this verse without hearing Handel's Messiah.  Under a very creepy coincidence my dad has Fox News up right now, and a HUGE black church in Harlem is performing this portion of the Messiah... weird.  I love it!  I was just going to close with that verse.

Ruminating ideas...

I started this blog about two and a half years ago with the intent of keeping friends and family informed of what I was up to while I served as a missions volunteer at Sweet Home Missionary Baptist Church in Miami Florida. I still sign in to this account from time to time but as you may notice I haven't written on here in over a year. I, as of late, have found new reason to try to keep this blog more up to date. The reasons to try to spill my thoughts, yet have them out for others to read for a sense of catharsis and to potentially provide me with feedback, have added up.

• I'm nearing graduation
• I'm looking at applying to seminary
• I'm starting the inquirer packet for the PCUSA (like I have been for the past several months...)
• Starting all this seminary stuff brings up a whole series of questions:

1. What *DO* I believe?
2. Ok... I know what I believe, the question perhaps is "How do I articulate what I believe?"
3. What is my call?
4. You know... all those assorted questions...

• I'm not politically apathetic, but I'm not willing to ascribe to a political party because ultimately the parties seem apathetic to reality. Sometimes I feel a need to vent.
• I know that Bono is a rockstar and not a theologian, but he's got some quotes that y'all should not only hear but I would also like to offer my thoughts on.
• I'm planning on taking my senior seminar this semster with our resident Medieval historian on campus though I fashion myself as a modern to contemporary Irish historian myself. Why? Because she's the only European historian who will be offering a senior seminar this semester, and I was hoping to read some Thomas Aquinas in the near future, this way I'll be able to do it and get course credit for it. I'd kind of like to be able to post some of my thoughts as I go about reading his work.
• I started this blog to keep y'all informed about my ministry, and even though I'm not *officially* involved in a specific ministry, I think I should keep doing that. I'm looking into spending more time hanging at Missionaries of Charity here in Miami (Missionaries of Charity would be the order that Mother Teresa started in Calcutta, they have a mission for the homeless in Miami, just a quick Metro-rail ride away in the Overtown-ish area).
• General updates, I haven't been on here in a year. Some people may care to know what I've been up to, some may not. Regardless that'll be on here too I suppose.
• Finally, if some of you actually read this -and comment- perhaps it will keep me accountable.

So my goal from here on out, is an update (or more) a week. This isn't some "New Year's Resolution" because I actually intend to do it and I'm starting before new years. Be looking for the next update within the week. If you don't see it, yell at me! :-P